The Masochist

He gave in to his darkest desire by feeding someone else's.

Bathtub where Bernd Brandes bled after being mutilated. Photo Credit: urbexmichi/Instagram

For years, he wanted someone to bite it off—sometimes Bernd Brandes even implored his lover to cut off his penis with a knife. The lover, who was also a sex worker, wasn’t willing to do it; not even when offered large sums of money or expensive items, but Brandes was driven. It was 2001 when Brandes, who used the online name “Cator99” in the cannibalism chat room, received a reply to his query. He’d aptly titled the ad, “Your Dinner” and wrote: “I offer to let myself be eaten alive. No slaughter, but eating. Therefore, whoever really wants to do it needs a genuine victim.”

According to the book “Interview with a Cannibal: The Secret Life of the Monster of Rotenburg” by Günter Stampf, the reply came from someone who called himself “Antrophagus” a name stemming from the Greek that means cannibal or man-eater because why bother with subtleties? Antrophagus’ real name was Armin Meiwes. He wrote: “Hello, Cator. I read your ad. I’ll slaughter you, but only if you really want me to. Let me hear from you. Your master butcher, Franky.”

Antrophagus didn’t just get lucky. He’d been proactive too. As most news outlets report, he had also put out his own ads seeking a "young well-built man who wanted to be eaten.” In that version of the story, it was Brandes who answered Meiwes’ ad, but either way, they found their way to each other, each wanting something from the other. Meiwes was 40 by then, but had craved the opportunity to eat human flesh since he was 8 years old. He said he’d received more than 400 more replies to his queries and five of them actually came to his house. But none were quite right.

Brandes was a 43-year-old software programmer living in Berlin. Meiwes was a “computer expert” living a little over 300 miles south in Rotenburg, and thanks to the internet, a man who craved that cannibal life found someone who sexualized the idea of being mutilated and consumed, and a match made in hell was born. It was to be the first time for both of them—and Brandes was only going to get one shot. They spoke of their excitement about living out their fantasy together. In a translated transcript of some of their online talks published in Harper’s Magazine, a bit of the exchange went like this:

Antrophagus: I’m looking forward to our meeting, it will definitely be really cool

Cator99: I want it to be! I hope it’ll be really cool. Are you setting an alarm clock?????

Antrophagus: It’s only a few days until March 9

Cator99: Still, I would have rather met you yesterday and felt your teeth

Antrophagus: One can’t have everything. There’s still some time before you really feel my teeth

Cator99: I hardly know what to expect. Have you slaughtered a man before?

Antrophagus: Unfortunately, only in my dreams, but in my thoughts I do it every night

Cator99: So I’m the first? You have eaten human flesh before, or you haven’t?

Antrophagus: No, you don’t exactly find it in the supermarket, unfortunately

Photo Credit: davidarioch/Instagram

As they continue their chat, Brandes expressed concern for Meiwes’s enjoyment of the taste of his blood and flesh, and what he would do with the useless bits like his knees. Meiwes told Brandes he was wondering if the penis would be difficult to bite off because it’s so spongy. Regardless, one thing was certain according to Meiwes: “Our dream will be fulfilled.”

Later, Meiwes would say that due to his lonely and difficult childhood, he longed for a little brother. He felt that if he could consume his fantasy boy, it would fill the void, and he could always keep the “brother” with him, which is reminiscent of the reasoning of America’s favorite cannibal, Jeffrey Dahmer. Brandes, on the other hand, was a masochist. His lover said, “Bernd just had to have pain. The more intense the pain I inflicted on his penis, the greater his enjoyment.” The lover, who became close to Brandes over years of sex and friendship, never asked why Brandes wanted such pain inflicted, but told Stampf, “He couldn’t have answered that question himself.”

Brandes’ childhood was also described as a lonely and confusing one. His mother died in a traffic incident of some kind when Brandes was 5 years old, but according to “Interview with a Cannibal,” it may have been on purpose—a suicide. Brandes’ father never spoke of it or of his mother, and he rejected him when he came out as gay as a young man. He did well in school, had a successful career, and made a comfortable living. For seven years he even tried to go along with societal expectations and had a live-in girlfriend, but his yearnings were always there, and he secretly entertained them often.

The plan was for Brandes to travel to Meiwes’ home to act out the fantasy. Meiwes had a special room for sadomasochistic sex act—literally referred to as “the slaughter room”—and it would be where he dismembered his new kindred spirit. For reasons not understood by those who knew Brandes, he went along with it.

Those who spoke to Stampf didn't think Brandes was suicidal, though some knew of his desire to be mutilated. However, when he finally went to Meiwes’ home on March 9, 2001, he was ambivalent. Brandes wanted to be intoxicated when Meiwes cut off his penis, and unconscious when he killed him, but the cough medicine he drank to make him woozy wasnt’ taking effect as much as necessary. After a few hours, Brandes backed out and Meiwes drove him to the train station where the perverted pair waited together for the train to carry Brandes home. However, while they waited, Brandes went to the bathroom and when he came back, he’d changed his mind. He decided to go back with Meiwes. He would drink more cough syrup and take sleeping pills. They would carry out the plan.

”You could see it as an almost spontaneous decision,” Meiwes said.

Berndt Brandes Armin Meiwes

Brandes ended up taking 10 sleeping pills along with drinking an entire bottle of cough syrup, and later, he drank half of a bottle of schnapps. Finally, it was time. Upon the first attempt, the knife was too dull and Brandes was frustrated. Meiwes grabbed a bigger knife and, again, Brandes places his erect penis on a platter. This time, it came off relatively easily. There was lots of blood and Brandes went to rest on the bed, asking to be shown the video that Meiwes had taken of the act, which isn't too out of character as his lover said that during sex, he liked to watch himself being bitten in mirrors all around his bedroom. Though he screamed during the mutilation, only moments later, Brandes said he was surprised that it didn’t hurt at all anymore. According to Meiwes, he was disappointed because he expected and wanted more pain.

Once that was done, there was no turning back. Meiwes took the severed member, which he’d split down the middle, and cooked it with garlic and oil and served it with fresh tomato. Brandes wanted to eat it as well. Both however, learned that penis is no good to eat. So, now you know.

As Brandes lay bleeding profusely, they told each other their real names. Up until then, it was Franky and Cator, but now, they were in new territory. The original plan was for Meiwes to stab Brandes to death after he’d fallen asleep, but he decided maybe he’d like to just bleed to death instead. Meiwes ran him a bath and helped him to the tub, then went to his room to read a “Star Trek” novel, but he checked on Brandes regularly. Some time later, Meiwes helped Brandes back to bed. A couple of hours later, he was barely clinging to life when he announced “I have to piss” and tried to stand up. Brandes collapsed and never spoke again.

From there, Meiwes took him to the slaughter room and put him on a table. He said, “I kissed him on the mouth and said a little prayer, something like, ‘Lord forgive him and forgive me.’”

Then he went to work, filming the entire thing. He carved about 65 pounds of meat off of Brandes and stashed it in his freezer, eating an estimated 45 pounds of human flesh over the next several months.

Dilapidated home of Armwin Meiwes. Photo Credit: Lea Swantje | Fotografin & Urbexerin/Instagram

Back in Berlin, Brandes had been living with a 21-year-old boyfriend named René, who reported him missing on March 11, two days after he’d gone to Rotenburg. At work, Brandes’ colleagues were also confounded about his whereabouts. His supervisor even noticed that most of his data files from 2000 had been deleted. Brandes had given Meiwes the password so that he could delete whatever he didn’t want anyone to see. Brandes left no clues as to where he went—there was no trail to follow, no suicide note. Months went by, and Brandes seemed to have vanished.

But Meiwes wasn’t done. He continued seeking volunteers for his twisted fantasies, and even posted three photos of Brandes in various states of slaughter online, all blurred or altered in some way. He had some brief, troubling exchanges with a student who tipped off the police, and slowly they took notice. About six months after Meiwes was reported, investigators finally showed up at his home with a search warrant. Brandes’ meat was still in the freezer and they took some for analysis, but they didn’t find the video tapes. Shortly after, Meiwes went to an attorney who was a friend and told him everything, then turned himself in to the police and brought the tapes.

Days later, after Brandes’ identity was confirmed, René was notified, along with Brandes’ estranged father and stepmother. His parents were so horrified that they refused to arrange a funeral for him. The bones that Meiwes buried in his yard were located and cremated, and René and a small group of Brandes’ friends held a secret funeral so the press wouldn’t intrude.

In court, a deeply unfortunate jury and judge had to watch 19 minutes of the mutilation and dismemberment video, and Meiwes was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to eight and a half years in prison. Since Brandes was willing to be killed, it was an unusual case. However, in 2006 the decision was overturned and he was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison. Society needed to be protected, after all.

In the years since this happened, Meiwes has had time to reflect in prison. In Stampf’s 2008 book, “Interview with a Cannibal,” Meiwes talked of regret for following his disturbing desires into the dark hole of the internet, where perverse fantasies can find a home and be nurtured. He said, “My goal in this book is to show these people where silence, or burying problems in one’s inner self, can lead.”

The masochist, however, was not afforded time for reflection. He went all in on his fantasies of self-harm, fulfilling them with his very life, leaving behind nothing but nightmares for all who hear his story.

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The majority of information for this story came from “Interview with a Cannibal: The Secret Life of the Monster of Rotenburg”
Sources not linked above:
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cannibal-i-had-other-volunteers/
https://www.thetimes.com/article/cannibals-video-reveals-mutilation-and-slaughter-2rskkp2wvxb
https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/europe/cannibal-s-victim-was-obsessed-with-sexual-mutilation-73321.html
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/dec/04/germany.lukeharding