For me, it was 12-step recovery that helped and my beef with the representation in the media, is just what you said—it doesn't look like any place I'd want to be, drunk or sober. But the reality, at least in NY and that's all I can talk about, is what is missing is the laughter and the community. A lot of us get to meetings early to socialize. There is the meeting, the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting which is usually coffee, a diner, or depending on the day and time, out in the park and sunshine. I have friends who stopped going after a few years, but stayed sober, and they wonder why I still attend meetings. I enjoy them, they're my community, much like other people find in church groups, activism, or parents in playgroups or PTA, or bars back in the day. That said, it's not for everyone, and luckily there are lots of options. 💕
Good point! Community is a huge component. I’m glad you brought that up for anyone who may read the comments because that may be really helpful to people trying to navigate what route to take to give up substances. Of course there are several good ways or combinations, but if everyone around you parties, real life meetings are a great way to find people to relate to and do things with. Whatever works! Thank for reading.
So well said. I also do this sober thing without a program. But certainly applaud any means to get here. My life is 100% better in every way. Sober on 💕
in the early days of sobriety around here, I remember happily piling an embarrassing amount of sparkling water "empties" into the truck for redemption and being beyond thrilled that they didn't smell like booze. I felt more proud than I had felt about almost anything else in my entire life.. imagining that I could give those cans to the elementary school can drive...like a real upstanding human being. I saw myself as someone better than I had ever been before. Those are the moments I still hold on to. It's so fucking badass to break cycles. ❤️
I think the idea that people who don't drink or drink only occasionally are boring and unsociable is barely there anymore. There is much more acceptance of people choosing not to drink. If comments like that are ever made, it is more likely to come from a drinker's fragility and so the judgement holds nothing more than a call for compassion. I seldom drink because I value morning clarity. The pros of not drinking so vastly outweigh the cons, it is easy ... now. That has taken practice but I have never felt pressured to have an alcoholic drink by anyone other than myself. However we frame it that works and gets people through is a win, so 'Badassery' gets a cheer from me here, happy to be on the sober sidelines. The change in narrative is already well under way, thank goodness.
Soooo well said. For me, even counting my days of sobriety is counterproductive. I just feel like it places too much emphasis on the whole thing. As Carrie Fisher said of rehab, "That's what we're all doing here: Not Drugs." Not to diminish anyone's milestones or sense of accomplishment... We all go about it in different ways. I also still drink on occasion, but not every night, and not to the point of numbness. That's what works best for me as a lifestyle. But I'm forever more aware of how much society pushes alcohol on us, and that in itself makes it feel less cool and fun. It's like how those anti smoking ads used to make me want to smoke. Being sober now feels rebellious, like bucking the system!
Yeah we’re all feeling our way through this thing! I do think a shift is happening but I feel like I got a lot of help and support from online sources and I want to contribute back. A big thing I learned is that perspective is everything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for reading!
For me, it was 12-step recovery that helped and my beef with the representation in the media, is just what you said—it doesn't look like any place I'd want to be, drunk or sober. But the reality, at least in NY and that's all I can talk about, is what is missing is the laughter and the community. A lot of us get to meetings early to socialize. There is the meeting, the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting which is usually coffee, a diner, or depending on the day and time, out in the park and sunshine. I have friends who stopped going after a few years, but stayed sober, and they wonder why I still attend meetings. I enjoy them, they're my community, much like other people find in church groups, activism, or parents in playgroups or PTA, or bars back in the day. That said, it's not for everyone, and luckily there are lots of options. 💕
Good point! Community is a huge component. I’m glad you brought that up for anyone who may read the comments because that may be really helpful to people trying to navigate what route to take to give up substances. Of course there are several good ways or combinations, but if everyone around you parties, real life meetings are a great way to find people to relate to and do things with. Whatever works! Thank for reading.
So well said. I also do this sober thing without a program. But certainly applaud any means to get here. My life is 100% better in every way. Sober on 💕
That’s excellent. Thanks for sharing a little about your experience and for reading!
in the early days of sobriety around here, I remember happily piling an embarrassing amount of sparkling water "empties" into the truck for redemption and being beyond thrilled that they didn't smell like booze. I felt more proud than I had felt about almost anything else in my entire life.. imagining that I could give those cans to the elementary school can drive...like a real upstanding human being. I saw myself as someone better than I had ever been before. Those are the moments I still hold on to. It's so fucking badass to break cycles. ❤️
I think the idea that people who don't drink or drink only occasionally are boring and unsociable is barely there anymore. There is much more acceptance of people choosing not to drink. If comments like that are ever made, it is more likely to come from a drinker's fragility and so the judgement holds nothing more than a call for compassion. I seldom drink because I value morning clarity. The pros of not drinking so vastly outweigh the cons, it is easy ... now. That has taken practice but I have never felt pressured to have an alcoholic drink by anyone other than myself. However we frame it that works and gets people through is a win, so 'Badassery' gets a cheer from me here, happy to be on the sober sidelines. The change in narrative is already well under way, thank goodness.
Insightful
Soooo well said. For me, even counting my days of sobriety is counterproductive. I just feel like it places too much emphasis on the whole thing. As Carrie Fisher said of rehab, "That's what we're all doing here: Not Drugs." Not to diminish anyone's milestones or sense of accomplishment... We all go about it in different ways. I also still drink on occasion, but not every night, and not to the point of numbness. That's what works best for me as a lifestyle. But I'm forever more aware of how much society pushes alcohol on us, and that in itself makes it feel less cool and fun. It's like how those anti smoking ads used to make me want to smoke. Being sober now feels rebellious, like bucking the system!
Yeah we’re all feeling our way through this thing! I do think a shift is happening but I feel like I got a lot of help and support from online sources and I want to contribute back. A big thing I learned is that perspective is everything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for reading!